On Love & Other Things

 


"Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person; having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but to pour them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, knowing that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away."

 

-Dinah Maria Mulock Craik

 

If you've seen me within the last 9 years, you've probably noticed I have a tattoo on the lower inner part of my right arm.  You've also probably noticed its large and a bunch of words. If you've never read it or asked what is it, it is the words written above.

Years ago, my dad gave me a book of poems. Among the hundreds in the book, this was by far my favorite and resonated with me most. Even to this day, I get chills every time I read and contemplate those words. 

To me, those words mean finding a person/people in your life with whom you can be yourself. You can be sad, you can be upset, you can seem irrational in a situation, but that person/people know you and your intent and can walk away from any situation with you and still love you unconditionally. Without judgement. Without resentment.

Marriage is hard. And somewhat like I imagined it to be. We've had ups & downs & limbos, but through it all I'm grateful for my husband. For the man he is. For his strength, his willingness to learn and try again and again. I'm grateful that for me, he is the person those words describe. At the end of the day he loves me more than he did the day before, despite my imperfections.

Becoming parents, in my opinion, has brought us closer together the last few years. And in a way that I don't think we would have otherwise grown together as a couple or individuals. We've learned to work together differently, how to communicate clearer and to love each other in a way that's hard to describe. 

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The last few weeks I've thought about how lucky I am to have Brandon. How lucky I am to know he loves me the way he does. How lucky I am that he's able to

 

 "...keep what is worth keeping, and then, with a breath of kindness, blow the rest away." 

 

I hope that if you haven't found that person/people that fill those shoes in your life, that you do someday.