Sleepless Nights

Noah was sleeping though the night at 5 weeks old. Cohen hasn't been as kind.  In fact, I feel like he and I are still trying to figure a lot of things out. Things that I feel like Noah and I had down at this age (four months). 

Maybe it's because I'm trying to juggle two? To anyone with more than two little ones - I TIP MY HAT TO YOU. 

Maybe it's because I've only been a SAHM for a few months now? Finding a rhythm/building a routine (AND STICKING TO IT) is hard... Especially when you've got a toddler that you're fighting to build a routine for as well.

Maybe it's because we suddenly decided to move and packing and moving and unpacking and contractors and paint colors are our life right now?

Who knows.  

One thing I am sure of - as difficult as the last few months have been, in the back of my mind I'm wishing time wouldn't move so quickly. Sure there are days that I'm counting down the minutes until bedtime, but overall, I'm soaking up what I can. I know that soon enough I'll be at a high school, or worse, a college graduation and my boys will be out in the world in their own. 


I want to always remember how Cohen preferred to sleep on his side and the way his finger rested on his button nose as he sucked his little thumb. 


I want to soak up his hums and coos as he drifts off to sleep. 


I want to never forget his toothless grin as I reach for him after a nap or a 3am feeding.


Or the way his tiny fingers dance over my shirt as I feed him. 

These days are numbered. 

And as exhausting and sleepless as they are, this is my happy place. These are the moments and feelings of motherhood that no ones tells you about and that you never understand until you're here. 

My heart is full, the dark circles under my eyes are real and my coffee mug is refreshed through out the day. 


Also, daylight savings can fall off a cliff.